"And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force." Matthew 11:12
A common Scripture...approached from many differing perspectives, but I have been pondering what it means to be be spiritually violent....these are some of the ways the Lord has challenged me to be violent, so that i may lay hold of the Kingdom of Heaven - the Kingdom I long to know and encounter... Violence for me in this season entails...
Growing in Knowledge of the Word
A heart that is alive and kept with the utmost of care
Retreating to the secret place behind a shut door
A lifestyle of Fasting and Intercession
Adequate sleep
Worshiping Lips
Daily surrender of my will
To be bold within my collegiate circles
Welcoming brokenness
Laying aside my calendar
Falling in love with the Bridegroom God
Defending the widow and the orphan
Embracing lonely days
Turning my cell phone off
Giving of my first fruits
Calling out the good in others
More Listening
Finding joy in the mundane
Choosing to take every thought captive
Diligence and excellence in little tasks
Gazing and Listening
Realizing that death in this life means life eternal with my Maker
Weeping for the lost
Asking for more grace, more love, more life, more revelation, more opportunity - I want more!
I have so far to go, so much more to attain in the spiritual realms of violence. So many things are warring for me affections, my attention, my intellect, my thoughts, and my future. Defend me Jesus, lest I become weary. Arm me with your armor. Anoint me with Your power. Fight for me as I struggle against the expectations of this fallen world.
Monday, September 8
Monday, August 25
Goodbye LA...Hello Texas
Summer is officially over for this girl. I made it back to Texas late Thursday night and I began classes today. It has been a quick turn around for me to say the very least. It has been really sweet to catch up with friends here...but to be honest, it has been a somewhat of a difficult transition for me. Texas is tack-nasty hot and humid - just sick really...and I have received 321 mosquito bites in the 4 days that I have been back here. Ha, but for real...I feel like part of my heart is still in LA...and right now I am just praying for my heart to catch up with the rest of my body geographically. The culture is way different here, obviously...and there are days when my heart just feels super vulnerable about being back here...leaving my eyes always on the verge of tears. This is a good place to be, but not necessarily easy. I have definitely hit the ground running - leaving little time for me to really take adequate time to gather some of my lingering thoughts from this summer. Today I was able to set some time aside and do just this. With Bible, pen, and journal in hand I just began to jot down some simple thoughts and revelations from the summer. Some are more serious than others...some are more personal while others are broad and vague. So here we go, with very little format...and mostly heart's cries ---
"Let my life always be given to You Jesus and to people. Holy Spirit, open the gates of Heaven - let Heaven come unto Earth...Let that be my calling, my journey, my desire - to see Heaven upon this earth. Sometimes I feel like I am so far from experiencing this...yet I love receiving glimpses of Heaven, and I have seen many this summer - I see it in the worshiping lips speaking and singing Your Word, I see Heaven's citizens in the people I am serving alongside, I see the childlike faith in the hands that I hold in the projects, I hear the sounds of Heaven when I commune with You Jesus...yet I cannot fathom the culmination of all of these things in one Dwelling Place...and to live There forever...how I long for that day...but until then - I am believing in Your power, in Your grace - that I might experience Heaven here on this earth. Thank you for the glimpses...I cannot wait for the full encounter".
Pray for me as I adjust back to life in college. Actually, pray I don't adjust too much...that I don't get comfortable...but that my heart will be settled. There are many unknowns in my life right now...I feel the weight of these things in my spirit daily. I know I am called to be here for this season...and I am excited about this upcoming year and the opportunities ahead. I was back in the projects yesterday here...it didn't take me long - I could not wait to see my girls (they are in the picture at the very bottom of this website). I took Tay Tay to get school supplies last night before here first day of school and then of course to Sonic. I love those girls...
On a side note...keep my parents in your prayers as well...they head out to Africa tomorrow as they are moving forward with constructing an orphanage in Malawi. You can follow their journey here : 1millionorphans.com --- what a calling. God is sovereign.
Smile today.
- The beauty of doing what one is called to do is indescribable.
- I resolve to hold loosely the things which my Jesus has graciously entrusted me with in order to bless others in His name.
- I love to write...a lot. Something about writing really stirs my affections for the Lord. I resolve to write diligently this year and to be better about sharing my writings with others.
- Community is not a commodity, but completely necessary in ministry and in life.
- There is always Hope.
- I have a unique calling upon my life...I will not fight that fact any longer.
- I will adopt - there is no greater picture of the Gospel.
- Where the Spirit of the Lord is made welcome - He dwells, and where He dwells freedom reigns.
- Discipleship - something I need to believe in more. It's powerful.
- I love the grace of my Maker...words do no justice on this one, so I'll leave it at that.
- Living a life surrendered is the best way to experience the faithfulness of the Father. The steps I take in abandoned faith - this is where I encounter the Father the most.
- I will be grateful, on my face grateful, every single day. Period.
- Cultural diversity sharpens one another, while uniformity is dangerously toxic.
- I am selfish.
- How refreshing it is to be surrounded with those who have kindred spirits, who love the Word, and who are running hard after our King...thank you Jesus.
- "Big dreamers do not have time to swim in the pool of subtle offenses". - Matthew Barnett
- The books of Isaiah and Hebrews - this is where I meditated most this summer. Much to be learned here.
- I have been taken, blessed, and broken in order to be given. Forever.
- There is something intrinsic within me that lives to love on the less fortunate, the broken, and the addicted.
"Let my life always be given to You Jesus and to people. Holy Spirit, open the gates of Heaven - let Heaven come unto Earth...Let that be my calling, my journey, my desire - to see Heaven upon this earth. Sometimes I feel like I am so far from experiencing this...yet I love receiving glimpses of Heaven, and I have seen many this summer - I see it in the worshiping lips speaking and singing Your Word, I see Heaven's citizens in the people I am serving alongside, I see the childlike faith in the hands that I hold in the projects, I hear the sounds of Heaven when I commune with You Jesus...yet I cannot fathom the culmination of all of these things in one Dwelling Place...and to live There forever...how I long for that day...but until then - I am believing in Your power, in Your grace - that I might experience Heaven here on this earth. Thank you for the glimpses...I cannot wait for the full encounter".
Pray for me as I adjust back to life in college. Actually, pray I don't adjust too much...that I don't get comfortable...but that my heart will be settled. There are many unknowns in my life right now...I feel the weight of these things in my spirit daily. I know I am called to be here for this season...and I am excited about this upcoming year and the opportunities ahead. I was back in the projects yesterday here...it didn't take me long - I could not wait to see my girls (they are in the picture at the very bottom of this website). I took Tay Tay to get school supplies last night before here first day of school and then of course to Sonic. I love those girls...
On a side note...keep my parents in your prayers as well...they head out to Africa tomorrow as they are moving forward with constructing an orphanage in Malawi. You can follow their journey here : 1millionorphans.com --- what a calling. God is sovereign.
Smile today.
Thursday, August 14
Counting Down...
The time has come, and the countdown has begun as I prepare to leave LA. What a summer it has been. What an experience. What an opportunity. What a blessing.
I have many mixed emotions about leaving here. While I am excited to see my family for approximately 36 hours, and though I cannot wait to hug and catch up with the Texas crew...it is going to be difficult to say goodbye to the people I have come to love here. It's hard to believe I have been at this place for nearly three months.From the people on the streets, to the leadership of this ministry, to the people I am serving alongside - I have been encouraged beyond expression. Community is such a beautiful thing...Grateful for all of these things, yet knowing that this life is created by continual transitioning from season to season, I continue onward ... so here I go - ready to enter into what I pray to be a new season of excellence, wisdom, and revelation. Pray that as one season folds, that the next will open with greatness.
The Lord has spoken much into my life recently. In the midst of this sweetness, my spirit is at the same time overwhelmed by a lot of unknowns right now. My perspective has been altered as I have witnessed the lifestyles of the simple ones. My heart has been awakened more than ever - made alive in love for my Jesus, for His Word, and for His people. As I ponder the future days ahead - senior year, career choice, ministry, grad school, relationships, a city - I find it difficult not to run with a "living for that which is urgent mentality"...Here is another journal excerpt from my wrestling with that which is eternal.
"He has put eternity in the hearts of men (Ecc. 4:11). My heart beats for only that which is eternal – for here I have no continuing city, but I seek only the one to come (Heb. 13:14). What a beautiful paradox it is to have only a hunger for eternity yet at the same time realize absolutely nothing in this broken, temporary place we call earth will satisfy these longings. Fight that which is but a vapor, go to war with the spirit of delusion so that one's heart will remain steadfast in truly yearning for that which will never fade. If my days are as handbreadths and at best I am but a vapor; then I am most assuredly on the brink of eternity (Psalm 39). So Father God, help me to live not for that which is urgent; but rather, direct my footsteps to walk with great urgency for that which is eternal. Ruin me for eternity."
Easy to write, hard to do...just so you know :)
I have many mixed emotions about leaving here. While I am excited to see my family for approximately 36 hours, and though I cannot wait to hug and catch up with the Texas crew...it is going to be difficult to say goodbye to the people I have come to love here. It's hard to believe I have been at this place for nearly three months.From the people on the streets, to the leadership of this ministry, to the people I am serving alongside - I have been encouraged beyond expression. Community is such a beautiful thing...Grateful for all of these things, yet knowing that this life is created by continual transitioning from season to season, I continue onward ... so here I go - ready to enter into what I pray to be a new season of excellence, wisdom, and revelation. Pray that as one season folds, that the next will open with greatness.
The Lord has spoken much into my life recently. In the midst of this sweetness, my spirit is at the same time overwhelmed by a lot of unknowns right now. My perspective has been altered as I have witnessed the lifestyles of the simple ones. My heart has been awakened more than ever - made alive in love for my Jesus, for His Word, and for His people. As I ponder the future days ahead - senior year, career choice, ministry, grad school, relationships, a city - I find it difficult not to run with a "living for that which is urgent mentality"...Here is another journal excerpt from my wrestling with that which is eternal.
"He has put eternity in the hearts of men (Ecc. 4:11). My heart beats for only that which is eternal – for here I have no continuing city, but I seek only the one to come (Heb. 13:14). What a beautiful paradox it is to have only a hunger for eternity yet at the same time realize absolutely nothing in this broken, temporary place we call earth will satisfy these longings. Fight that which is but a vapor, go to war with the spirit of delusion so that one's heart will remain steadfast in truly yearning for that which will never fade. If my days are as handbreadths and at best I am but a vapor; then I am most assuredly on the brink of eternity (Psalm 39). So Father God, help me to live not for that which is urgent; but rather, direct my footsteps to walk with great urgency for that which is eternal. Ruin me for eternity."
Easy to write, hard to do...just so you know :)
Tuesday, August 5
Faces
I finally took my camera out to Imperial Courts, my Adopt-a-Block site and snapped a few quick pictures. So here is but a glimpse of a Saturday morning.I also went to a Dodgers game last weekend - super fun, I love baseball.
Haseim...one of His...a face of the inner city projects.
My boys..Emon and Tremel. They live in Imperial Courts and come to church weekly with us on the bus..
Obsessed.
Just hanging out at Haseim's house.
At Adopt-a-Block...Setting up the Food Line. The kids love to help us.
Beautiful face.
Just a little loving from Basimah, she is one of my favorites.
Go Dodgers.
Adam, me, and Tom after the game.
The whole crew. Fun night...Dodgers lost.
Yep, we were sitting pretty high up...but it didn't matter. However, I then realized about halfway through the game that my friend was the starting pitcher for the Dodgers game. He visits us in College Station often and sleeps on our couch - his name is Clayton. I couldn't believe it...didn't realize he was thaaaat good - way to go humble Clayton :)
Tuesday, July 29
Acts 20
The beauty of Scripture...that it's power never fades, that life is spoken through the Word each time I read it, no matter how many times I have read it before...this week I have been taken back to a couple of Scriptures that have had a profound effect on my life...I was looking back over some of my writings/prayers and came across a passage that I was really praying through on my journey of finding the Lord's will for this summer...Written exactly six months ago...I feel closer to being at this point than I ever have before -- yet still so much further to go to be able to confidently proclaim this longing within the depths of me.
"If only I could stand before my family, my colleagues, my roommates, my coworkers, my church body, my peers, my enemies...if only I could fall at my King's feet and boldly proclaim Paul's honest reflections in Acts 20:18-35....As I continue to journey and wander from earthly city to earthly city, I am determined to be able to speak Paul's meek words...Based on how I have always lived before men and among men - each will know that I sought to wholly serve he Lord with all humility. In the midst of the tears and endless trials as I chose to strive with fallen man...still I withheld nothing that might profit your soul; instead I proclaimed it loudly in the crowded marketplace and within my own home. I testified to all peoples, I continually spoke of the beauty of repentance toward God and the joy of running in faith toward my Beloved. The Holy Spirit has bound me so that I must continue forth to a new city - so that all might know. All I have is the Holy Spirit, it is only He that goes with me...it is not I, but the Spirit that testifies all things. I was fully aware of the the chains that would attempt to take me captive and of the countless tribulations that would await me always. But it simply did not detour my passionate longing to speak on behalf of my Bridegroom. My life doesn't carry any worth in this city, it means nothing to me. All I want is to finish this race with joy unspeakable. I am here for the ministry of love, to testify the wondrous Gospel of Grace. I must keep moving onward...I must tell all. I am innocent of the blood of all men, only because I have chosen to declare the love, mercy, and justice of my Jesus. I have warned, faithfully warned my brethren of the schemes of the evil one. I did not covet any others' wealth or possessions. Instead I trusted the Jesus I was serving to provide for me only that which is necessary. I have demonstrated to you by all that I do and say - that it is necessary and even more rewarding to support and love those that are the weakest. It is not I, but our Savior who declares, "It is more blessed to give than to receive.""
Read Acts 20 for yourself. Forget my words. Make it your own prayer.
One story ... in a time crunch as always...but I wanted to tell you about Allison. Allison is a woman I met on Skid Row about two weeks ago. As I walked around the area where we were serving food, I prayed very specifically that the Spirit would lead me to the one whom I needed to speak with. As I walked the grounds, as I do every week...I prayed intently. I caught a lady's eyes as I walked and just smiled at her. Her face lit up and she returned a smile. I saw something different in her eyes, and the Spirit whispered "Go Katie, go show her My Love"... I walked towards her and began a conversation with this woman, Allison. As we talked about my internship and what I was doing this summer she expressed great interest in the Dream Center and our discipleship/rehab program. I explained to her more about the program -- and long story short...I was able to load this woman in my car (Shawn's car) and bring her back to the Dream Center with me and enroll her in the discipleship program. She has committed to be here a year - pray that the Lord gives her strength to remain. She has made it through one of the most difficult stages I believe, the detox within the first week. It brings me such joy to see her on campus here with all the other discipleship women. I cannot speak with her beyond a simple hello...but I know my prayers are so much more effective than anything I could ever converse with her about. Praise the Lord...for he receives the prodigals with open arms. Help me to do the same Jesus.
Tired of writing...be blessed.
"If only I could stand before my family, my colleagues, my roommates, my coworkers, my church body, my peers, my enemies...if only I could fall at my King's feet and boldly proclaim Paul's honest reflections in Acts 20:18-35....As I continue to journey and wander from earthly city to earthly city, I am determined to be able to speak Paul's meek words...Based on how I have always lived before men and among men - each will know that I sought to wholly serve he Lord with all humility. In the midst of the tears and endless trials as I chose to strive with fallen man...still I withheld nothing that might profit your soul; instead I proclaimed it loudly in the crowded marketplace and within my own home. I testified to all peoples, I continually spoke of the beauty of repentance toward God and the joy of running in faith toward my Beloved. The Holy Spirit has bound me so that I must continue forth to a new city - so that all might know. All I have is the Holy Spirit, it is only He that goes with me...it is not I, but the Spirit that testifies all things. I was fully aware of the the chains that would attempt to take me captive and of the countless tribulations that would await me always. But it simply did not detour my passionate longing to speak on behalf of my Bridegroom. My life doesn't carry any worth in this city, it means nothing to me. All I want is to finish this race with joy unspeakable. I am here for the ministry of love, to testify the wondrous Gospel of Grace. I must keep moving onward...I must tell all. I am innocent of the blood of all men, only because I have chosen to declare the love, mercy, and justice of my Jesus. I have warned, faithfully warned my brethren of the schemes of the evil one. I did not covet any others' wealth or possessions. Instead I trusted the Jesus I was serving to provide for me only that which is necessary. I have demonstrated to you by all that I do and say - that it is necessary and even more rewarding to support and love those that are the weakest. It is not I, but our Savior who declares, "It is more blessed to give than to receive.""
Read Acts 20 for yourself. Forget my words. Make it your own prayer.
One story ... in a time crunch as always...but I wanted to tell you about Allison. Allison is a woman I met on Skid Row about two weeks ago. As I walked around the area where we were serving food, I prayed very specifically that the Spirit would lead me to the one whom I needed to speak with. As I walked the grounds, as I do every week...I prayed intently. I caught a lady's eyes as I walked and just smiled at her. Her face lit up and she returned a smile. I saw something different in her eyes, and the Spirit whispered "Go Katie, go show her My Love"... I walked towards her and began a conversation with this woman, Allison. As we talked about my internship and what I was doing this summer she expressed great interest in the Dream Center and our discipleship/rehab program. I explained to her more about the program -- and long story short...I was able to load this woman in my car (Shawn's car) and bring her back to the Dream Center with me and enroll her in the discipleship program. She has committed to be here a year - pray that the Lord gives her strength to remain. She has made it through one of the most difficult stages I believe, the detox within the first week. It brings me such joy to see her on campus here with all the other discipleship women. I cannot speak with her beyond a simple hello...but I know my prayers are so much more effective than anything I could ever converse with her about. Praise the Lord...for he receives the prodigals with open arms. Help me to do the same Jesus.
Tired of writing...be blessed.
Monday, July 28
A weekend away...
I have much to update you on...The past couple of weeks have been incredible. It is such a privilege to be serving here. Right now I don't have time to write really, but here are a couple of pictures from my weekend away in Florida with the family. It was a sweet time...and so good to have everyone together in one place...these times are few and far between in this season of life.
Beautiful.
Beach Bums.
I love the heck out of this boy.
Kiiiiim....my hero, duh.
Ok, so this is me and my boyfriend. I felt it necessary to take this picture in the midst of all the other couple shots. I was the 7th wheel all weekend :)
Cuties.
Austin replaced me on this trip...but I like her, so it's OK.
Some say we are twins. Still daddy's little girl.
Rockin' the shades. Get a tan Drew.
Really, really, really blessed.
I promise I will write soon. I have so much to write about it semi-overwhelms me. Maybe later on tonight or in the morning...Hope this day finds you well.
Beautiful.
Beach Bums.
I love the heck out of this boy.
Kiiiiim....my hero, duh.
Ok, so this is me and my boyfriend. I felt it necessary to take this picture in the midst of all the other couple shots. I was the 7th wheel all weekend :)
Cuties.
Austin replaced me on this trip...but I like her, so it's OK.
Some say we are twins. Still daddy's little girl.
Rockin' the shades. Get a tan Drew.
Really, really, really blessed.I promise I will write soon. I have so much to write about it semi-overwhelms me. Maybe later on tonight or in the morning...Hope this day finds you well.
Wednesday, July 9
Lethal Lack of Community
It's July. What the heck? Time is slipping away from me so quickly here. A lot has happened since I have last written...more than I can catch you up on, my bad - bear with me...I'm just going to choose a couple of things to write about.
As for a quick miscellaneous life update...My friend Shawn Hyde who is currently doing an internship at Saddleback in Orange County went to India for a month - and has let me borrow his car for the last couple of weeks. What a blessing that has been. Needless to say, I am a pro at driving in LA and actually enjoy it somewhat. I feel like I am on Mario Cart or something...it's like a game to me...So praise the Lord for a vehicle and many trips to the beach and to Yogurt Land. Secondly, Kristin Borden just left this morning...she came and visted me for a couple days and we had a great time. It was refreshing to see a familiar face. She even got me to eat sushi while she was here...big feat. We went shopping maybe 234 times during the four days she was here :) We also went to Laguna Beach and rode a trolley (yes trolley, i felt 84 years old, but it was cute) alongside the beach and through the mountains...beautiful.
As for life at the Dream Center....everything is going wonderful. I am still being amazed by this ministry and the people I am serving alongside. Just to touch on a few of things that have happened recently...I went out on food truck one day last week and had the opportunity to have a pretty in depth conversation due to some LA traffic with the ministry leader as well as another one of my guy intern friends....Alfred, the ministry leader spoke much truth during our time together. He was heavily involved in the gang scene before Christ transformed his life and took him as His own. He taught me a lot about the history of generational gangs in LA...and you would be shocked at the statistics regarding gangs in this area. A couple of things that we conversed about have really been on my heart and in my mind over the past 7 or 8 days. Within the walls of the church or even just in everyday life...we focus way too much time on solutions. I want to fix everything and everyone. In my heart I know I am unable to do this - but even so, I want my Jesus to fix them, fix the situation, fix the mess, or solve the problem. Life, business, relationships, church, ministry, school - I am always searching for a solution of some sort. Being a perfectionist, this is often magnified within my own life. Alfred explained the greater need for compassion versus solution. Generational gangs cannot be fixed with a bandaid. You cannot find a quick fix for something that is rooted so deeply in sin. Period. When I think compassion...I don't necessarily associate the word with much power. However, great revelation is being called forth in my life that there is immeasurable power in the compassionate spirit. So Lord, give me compassion. I want Your eyes, Your ears, Your love...Beyond this, Alfred also discussed what he called "the lethal lack of community in LA". There is much to be learned about this. We build churches in America, not community. I find it be the greatest downfall of the western world. We were made for community...and one will search till he finds it whether it be in a gang, in a neighbordhood, in a club, or in a church. The responsibilty is mine..its ours, as the Church to cultivate community -- open your eyes, look around...the world is screaming and reeling for community.
Today, I was out at Skid Row for the afternoon with our ministry Under the Bridge, feeding hot meals to the homeless. I had the sweetest conversation with a sixty year old woman, Frieta. She is currently in the process of coming off of meth and heroine. I was drawn to her immediately and I got to talk with her for nearly two hours. We laughed a lot, and she was so encouraging to me with her words. She was a little bit concerned that I am twenty-one and not dating anyone...she didn't quite understand, but she wanted me to know that I did not need to wait until I was thirty to start a family. She told me that I better find him soon - I told her I was confident he is going to find me :) All I could do was laugh...that conversation is a reoccuring theme in my life...but It's cool how the Lord always opens up opportunities for me to share about my life in Him and why I do what I do. Today was weird because my heart was broken and encouraged all at once. That makes zero sense - but that's the best way I know how to put it. I prayed for her at the end of the afternoon and didn't want to leave her. I cannot tell you how many times I just wish I could have my Xterra here and load up four women off the streets and take them home with me and spoil the heck out of them...so that they might know what life is, what life abundant is with my Jesus. Oh that they might know...I am believing that one day they will. How I long for that day...when He makes all things new.
I am delirious. Forgive the jumbled thoughts...but I have been getting hate messages about the lack of blogging here lately...so I wanted to write really briefly before I went to bed. Goodnight. Figure out a way to cultivate community today - community that is fixed on Christ...include some new people in your community today. Talk to someone on the street corner. Bless someone in your office building, heck - bless a couple of people. Take someone random to lunch. Spend a little extra time communing with our Maker so that you might have a better vision of what community is supposed to look like. Get out of your world...and get in someone elses. You don't need an invite.
As for a quick miscellaneous life update...My friend Shawn Hyde who is currently doing an internship at Saddleback in Orange County went to India for a month - and has let me borrow his car for the last couple of weeks. What a blessing that has been. Needless to say, I am a pro at driving in LA and actually enjoy it somewhat. I feel like I am on Mario Cart or something...it's like a game to me...So praise the Lord for a vehicle and many trips to the beach and to Yogurt Land. Secondly, Kristin Borden just left this morning...she came and visted me for a couple days and we had a great time. It was refreshing to see a familiar face. She even got me to eat sushi while she was here...big feat. We went shopping maybe 234 times during the four days she was here :) We also went to Laguna Beach and rode a trolley (yes trolley, i felt 84 years old, but it was cute) alongside the beach and through the mountains...beautiful.
As for life at the Dream Center....everything is going wonderful. I am still being amazed by this ministry and the people I am serving alongside. Just to touch on a few of things that have happened recently...I went out on food truck one day last week and had the opportunity to have a pretty in depth conversation due to some LA traffic with the ministry leader as well as another one of my guy intern friends....Alfred, the ministry leader spoke much truth during our time together. He was heavily involved in the gang scene before Christ transformed his life and took him as His own. He taught me a lot about the history of generational gangs in LA...and you would be shocked at the statistics regarding gangs in this area. A couple of things that we conversed about have really been on my heart and in my mind over the past 7 or 8 days. Within the walls of the church or even just in everyday life...we focus way too much time on solutions. I want to fix everything and everyone. In my heart I know I am unable to do this - but even so, I want my Jesus to fix them, fix the situation, fix the mess, or solve the problem. Life, business, relationships, church, ministry, school - I am always searching for a solution of some sort. Being a perfectionist, this is often magnified within my own life. Alfred explained the greater need for compassion versus solution. Generational gangs cannot be fixed with a bandaid. You cannot find a quick fix for something that is rooted so deeply in sin. Period. When I think compassion...I don't necessarily associate the word with much power. However, great revelation is being called forth in my life that there is immeasurable power in the compassionate spirit. So Lord, give me compassion. I want Your eyes, Your ears, Your love...Beyond this, Alfred also discussed what he called "the lethal lack of community in LA". There is much to be learned about this. We build churches in America, not community. I find it be the greatest downfall of the western world. We were made for community...and one will search till he finds it whether it be in a gang, in a neighbordhood, in a club, or in a church. The responsibilty is mine..its ours, as the Church to cultivate community -- open your eyes, look around...the world is screaming and reeling for community.
Today, I was out at Skid Row for the afternoon with our ministry Under the Bridge, feeding hot meals to the homeless. I had the sweetest conversation with a sixty year old woman, Frieta. She is currently in the process of coming off of meth and heroine. I was drawn to her immediately and I got to talk with her for nearly two hours. We laughed a lot, and she was so encouraging to me with her words. She was a little bit concerned that I am twenty-one and not dating anyone...she didn't quite understand, but she wanted me to know that I did not need to wait until I was thirty to start a family. She told me that I better find him soon - I told her I was confident he is going to find me :) All I could do was laugh...that conversation is a reoccuring theme in my life...but It's cool how the Lord always opens up opportunities for me to share about my life in Him and why I do what I do. Today was weird because my heart was broken and encouraged all at once. That makes zero sense - but that's the best way I know how to put it. I prayed for her at the end of the afternoon and didn't want to leave her. I cannot tell you how many times I just wish I could have my Xterra here and load up four women off the streets and take them home with me and spoil the heck out of them...so that they might know what life is, what life abundant is with my Jesus. Oh that they might know...I am believing that one day they will. How I long for that day...when He makes all things new.
I am delirious. Forgive the jumbled thoughts...but I have been getting hate messages about the lack of blogging here lately...so I wanted to write really briefly before I went to bed. Goodnight. Figure out a way to cultivate community today - community that is fixed on Christ...include some new people in your community today. Talk to someone on the street corner. Bless someone in your office building, heck - bless a couple of people. Take someone random to lunch. Spend a little extra time communing with our Maker so that you might have a better vision of what community is supposed to look like. Get out of your world...and get in someone elses. You don't need an invite.
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