Saturday, April 18


A little background for the entry:
I talk alot about "hope". Hope this, hope that...what does that even mean? So I began to think, to write, to ponder these things...and found that my hope is best defined by what I find myself waiting for...While the things I wait for, I genuinely long for - each one a true, pure desire...sometimes these "waiting issues" dominate this little gods and demons they control my actions, dictate my thoughts, and sway my heart. I want to be waiting for so much more...

Let me listen.
This stillness makes me uneasy.
Hush the voices that plague and interrupt this mind.
Silence the flesh within me provoking this heart toward sin.
Deafen this ear to the deceit of the devil.
A heart exposed, a spirit willing, a mind wearied.
Wash me in the water of Your Word.
I wait.
I will wait longer.
You...You Jesus, are worth so much more than my waiting.
Carry me to the Heavenlies.
Take me away with You.
I will live my life in the waiting, ever watching.
May my days be filled with so much more than waiting for that which is fading...
For certainly I eagerly await much in this story called life.

I wait to know what tomorrow holds.
I wait to receive that diploma and to say one last farewell.
I wait to know where I might journey next...where I might call home.
I wait to spend precious moments with my family.
I wait to visit friends who live far, far away.
I wait to know, to love my husband.
I wait for purpose in the mundane day.
I wait to receive that job I love.
I wait to name my children, to hold that little hand in mine.

Yes, assuredly this life is lived in the waiting. I am a searcher, a seeker... ever reaching to discover the vastness of the unknown mystery of You. Free me to find the beauty disguised in the waiting for so much more than these. You have given me so much more to wait hope for.

I wait to gain the knowledge of You.
I wait to understand the way of Your will.
I wait to realize the deep depth of Your love.
I wait to operate solely by Your Spirit.
I wait to know the answers of the untold.
I wait to dance with You on the streets of gold.
I wait for the wedding feast of Your return.
I wait to spend eternity singing to You.

I will wait, I will wait for the better than...the more than...
I will spend these days waiting to hear from You.
Let me listen.
Let me discern the voice of You, my Love.
You are Hope defined.