Free by Fascination

"A man who has lost his sense of wonder is a man dead."
*William of Saint-Thierry

How easy it is to lose the sense of wonder for our Maker...
My mind is hard pressed in this new season, ever looming with the wonderings of the secondary...
....responsibilities
....finances
...bills
...running
...rest
...cooking
...relationships
...a husband
...future
...a new city
...limited time
...roommates
...jobs

Selfish. I have discovered this crazy, strong part of me...this sense of entitlement. I have agreed with the lies of Satan as I have adopted this idea of entitlement, of demanding that which I choose to be called mine...

I deserve this.
I said this, therefore...
I've always had this, I should always have it.
I'm gifted in this area, so I should go there.
I worked for this money, I get to decide where it goes.
I went to college, so I should be doing this, getting this.
I come from this family, so..
I did this, so I should have this.

Oh no...Not that I would ever voice these things...or hardly even think them in my own mind...it's very much subconscious...and very subtle...yet evil, dangerous, and consuming. Come oh winds of testing...let the winds blow. Come oh winds of refreshing...let the winds blow over me.

....oh how grateful I am that I serve the God of "more grace"...I need more.
I deserve death. Nothing more.
Forgive me Jesus for my unrelenting attempt of self-preservation.

Let me be free.
Free to be fascinated.
Fascinated with You.
Your glory.
Your coming.
Your grace.
Your calling.
Your majesty.
Your creation.
The union of my soul with Yours.
Make ready Your bride...

What are you wondering about?
Wonder about something...about Someone.