You and Yours

Jesus...
Your mysteries astound me.
Your timing confuses me.
Your love romances me.
Your pursuit wins me.
Your faithfulness keeps me.
Your vastness scares me.
Your forgiveness convicts me.
Your power humbles me.
Your Spirit teaches me.
Your bloodshed saves me.
Your weighty presence carries me.
Your promise of Heaven assures me.
Your Word sustains me.
Your new mercies compel me.
Your justice comforts me.
Your perspective changes me.
Your beauty overwhelms me.
Your sacrifice challenges me.
Your miracles encourage me.
Your voice silences me.
Your ears hear me.
Your grace transforms me.

And yet, all You want is me.
Your heart wants mine.
But these hands cling to so much more
...this heart is easily enticed
...this flesh is quickly deceived.
...this mind is riddled with desires other than

Won't you romance me, O love of my soul?
Let no one hinder my pursuit.
Let nothing stand in the way of my complete victory.
Let no weariness or discouraging thought cause me to revert to apathetic thinking.
Bind me. Mark me. Keep me.
For You reward the seeker that is diligent.

But you beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the Love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life...now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to present You faultless before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy...to God our Savior, who alone is wise, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and forever. Amen.
Jude 20-21, 24-25

Daddy's Girl

A little Father's Day tribute :)
One of my most favorite things to watch is the way of a Father with his children, especially a daughter. There's something about it that I just cannot shake. The mutual adoration, the tender heart exposed...I just love it.

Once a Daddy's Girl...always a Daddy's girl.
I really believe that.
Dad, remember those dates we used to go on when I was a lil girl...Ryan's Steakhouse?
Remember when we used to go to your softball games and run around all the bases at the end?
Remember when you begged me to get in trouble at school, to stand on top of my desk and start dancing? ...just so I would quit trying to be so perfect.
Remember me you lead me to Jesus and you baptized me?
Remember when you made us move to Arkansas and we all thought our lives were over?
Remember when you coached me in basketball? ... I'll leave it at that.
Remember when we ran the concession stand for Upward basketball?
Remember when you took me to that Father/Daughter Conference in Tulsa...haaaaa.
Remember when you walked me down the aisle at homecoming...twice.
Remember when you would critique my basketball performance on those long drives home from away games?
Remember when I tore my ACL and you were taking pictures of me while I was crying on the side of the mountain...kindly explaining..."you'll appreciate these one day"
Remember when you dropped me off in the Freebirds parking lot at Texas A&M and I buried my head in your chest and bawled?
Rememeber when I called you and told you I was going skydiving?
Remember when you drove me to the airport and put on a plane to work in the ghetto in Los Angeles?
Remember when you moved me a million times over the course of my college career?

I remember those things oh so well and cherish each memory.
But what I cherish even more is...
Waking up every morning and seeing you reading the Word.
The way you make me laugh.
The fact that sometimes things don't make sense but you always choose obedience.
That you are the same man at work, church, and play that you are at home.
The many phone calls just to say "Im thinking about you Katie"
Your love for people.
The way you love Jesus more than your family.
Your quiet, humble yet extremely strong leadership ability. So unique.
The way you dream.
The way you cannot be boxed in.
That you are a reader.
Your visionary spirit.

Thank you for...
Leading.
Teaching.
Waiting.
Forgiving.
Pushing me.
Sarcasm.
Getting to know me.
Being a jokester with me.
Joy.
Loving sports.
Believing in me.
Being so fun.
Never missing a game.
Telling me I can and I will.
Obedience.
Faithfulness.
Being a man's man.
Integrity.
Loving the Word.
Showing my brothers what it means to be a Godly mae.
Contending for a Godly marriage.
Loving your bride like Christ loves the Church.

And Dad, one more thing...thank you for both the blessing (and the curse) for setting the standard so extremely high for the man I will one day fall in love with.

You are rare Dad...
A rare find.
Thank you for being you.
I'll always be your little girl :)

Reason Less.

"Reason is a whore, the greatest enemy of faith." -- Luther

I am discovering my insatiable hunger for reason.
For sense.
For explanation.
For answers.

The art of reasoning...
This I have mastered.
With whom do I reason?
My heart reasons with my mind.
My mind reasons with my flesh.
My flesh reasons with this world.
This world reasons with the Enemy of all.

What do I reason about?
My intellect.
Tomorrow.
Time.
Relationships.
My own weaknesses.
Next year.
Sin.
Perspectives.
Love.
Provision.
My will.
His will.
The opinions of others.
My profession.
Justice.



...occasionally I might beckon God with a question enveloped with doubt...
leaving Him little to no time to respond,
before my own cycle of reasoning continues on.

Hear me.
I cherish the times I wrestle with God.
Honest dialogue with my Jesus...there is no sweeter thing.
The tears, the exhaustion, the questions...the love, the joy, the faith that follows when at last I collapse in the arms of my Maker, the One who defies all Reason. This is Beauty. This is different.

I hate arguing.
However, I must tell you...I reason well.
Reasoning has captured me.
Bound me.
Oh it literally suffocates me.
I reason long.
I reason often.
Let me confess...I choose reason more than I choose faith.

But let me also share with you this.
Faith is so much more exhilarating.
So much more rewarding.
So much more the way of Jesus.
So much easier.
Yes, I said easier.

Reason less,
Pray more.
Reason less,
Dream more.
Reason less,
Love more.
Reason less,
Listen more.

May faith set the precedent for your today and every day.

Pleading for Your Prayers.

I want to share with you an opportunity for you to join with me in prayer. In the picture above is my little brother, Austin, and his girlfriend, Erin. Erin's mom, Kristi, started having some health problems approximately 4-6 weeks ago...and has been diagnosed with cancer. Yesterday, we received some grim news...given the extent of the cancer, the doctors at MD Anderson have chosen to send her back home to be with her girls...and given her two months to live. This has all happened very, very quickly. While I am asking for you to pray for strength, comfort, and peace for this family...I am also pleading with you to pray for a miracle in Kristi's body.

My spirit is heavy and my heart aches. My mind is spinning. God, I don't understand and my flesh screams, "This is just not fair"....yet I know my perspective is limited to only that which is seen and heard here in this temporary home called Earth. It is beyond difficult for me to sing or speak of Your truth, Your goodness, Your perfect will, Your beauty, Your provision...and even Your love right now.

In fact, my tendency is to be overwhelmed and smothered at the very thought of Satan prevailing right now. As I allow my mind to entertain this thought, I sheepishly realize I am choosing to empower Satan, allowing him to take up residence within my heart, to encourage further deception, to focus on evil versus truth, and ultimately deciding to crown and hail the Father of Lies as king in this situation.

Forgive me. Pardon my unbelief. Redeem and sanctify my mind..in the name of Jesus..may I never dwell and meditate more upon the wicked ways of Satan, allowing my soul to soak in the well of bitterness....Rather, may I condition my mind and my heart to run to the place where I can sit beneath the flood of Your many mercies, to rejoice in another day of life abundant...let me stay in the place where I let my mind escape to wonder and daydream about the mysteries of Heaven, to revile in gratitude for the gift of salvation.

I will proclaim you as FAITHFUL, DEFENDER, HEALER, AND KEEPER OF EVERY PRECIOUS SOUL.

Pray for a miracle to occur in Kristi's body, for a diminishing of pain.
Pray for Erin (19) and her sisters...Kayla (21) and Shannon (16).
Pray for Austin - for courage, discernment, wisdom, leadership, and much love.

"Trust in Him at all times, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us." Psalm 62:8

The Uses of Humiliation

I hope the title of this entry intrigues you enough to make you read this post in its entirety. The word "Humility" sounds so beautiful, so applaudable...but what about the word "humiliation?" This word brings uneasiness to my spirit, a desire to flee. Why do I so readily separate these two concepts...Read on, as Fenelon as helped me better understand the Uses of Humiliation:

"What a mercy is humiliation to a soul that receives it with steadfast faith! There are a thousand blessings in it for ourselves and for others, for our Lord bestows his grace upon the humble. Humility makes us charitable toward our neighbor. Nothing will make us so generous and merciful to the faults of others as seeing our own.

Two things produce humility when they are put together: The first is the sight of the abyss of wretchedness from which the all-powerful hand of God has snatched us, and over which he still holds us, as it were, suspended in the the air. The other is the presence of that God who is All.

Our faults, even those most difficult to bear, will all be of service to us, if we make use of them for our humiliation, without relaxing our efforts to correct them. It does no good to be discouraged. That is only the result of a disappointed and despairing self-love. The true method of profiting from the humiliation of our faults is to see them in all their deformity without losing our hope in God and without having any confidence in ourselves.

We must bear with ourselves without either flattery or discouragement, although we seldom achieve this happy median. We either expect great things of ourselves and of our good intentions, or else we wholly despair. We must hope for nothing from self, but wait for everything from God. Convicted of our helplessness, we have no confidence in ourselves, and yet we have unbounded confidence in God. These are the true foundations of the spiritual edifice.

Those who are truly humble will be surprised to hear anything exalted of themselves. They are calm and peaceable, of a contrite and humble heart, merciful and compassionate. They are quiet, cheerful, obedient, watchful, fervent in spirit, and incapable of strife. They always take the lowest place, rejoice when they are despised, and consider everyone better than themselves. They are lenient to the faults of others in view of their own and very far from preferring themselves before anyone. We may thus judge our progress in humility by the delight we have in humiliations and contempt."
--Francois Fenelon

With these thoughts in mind...I am learning just how quick I am to resist any sort of humiliation for the sake of my Jesus or even for the sake of defending the hopeless. I am realizing just how selfish my day to day life is. I am learning just how humble I am NOT.

So help me Jesus...For I must become lesser...but even so Father, even here I struggle...may it not be about me becoming lesser...but all about renowning Your name as greater than...the more than...

Ever Changing...Still Remaining

Wow. What a whirlwind. I don't do this often...and I don't really plan to start now...but I feel like I should update you on what all is happening in my life. So this post will be a little different than the norm from me...in simple hopes of giving you a better glimpse of where I will be coming from as I continue to write over the next several months. I'll try my hardest not to be too vague...and I will include some of my writings throughout this entry from last few weeks.

I should probably start with the fact that I finished up college at Texas A&M. What a sweet four years that I had in College Station. I wrote this a few weeks ago...As I say goodbye, may I do so trusting each soul, each relationship, each one, into Your loving hands. Thank you for the ones You have given me in this city Jesus, thank you. Thank you for the ones who have loved me, encouraged me, challenged me, taught me, led me, counseled me, frustrated me, trusted me, held me, kept me, questioned me, listened to me, believed in me, prayed for me...thank you. Thank you for letting me dwell amongst and serve alongside a few of Your most precious children. Words do little here...I wish I could put my heart on this page...I wish I could expose the depths of gatitude that I am feeling....Words fail me in this moment.

I'm certain that at some point I will miss my college days, but honestly...I was ready for the next season. If you know me, you know I hate goodbyes...so four years of goodbyes was miserable, and I am glad to have all of that behind me.

Here they are...the girls I have lived with for the past 3 years (Sarah, 4 years). Yep, thats right...six girls, three years...simply a miracle :)



Saying goodbye to this family was by far my most difficult goodbye. I wept. Literally. This family has become so, so dear to me over the past few years. I will dedicate an entire entry to them soon. Tay Tay (age 13) is the girl that I have discipled the past two years. Her siblings are RoRo (age 11), Keke (age 8), and Ricky (age 6). I LOVE THESE KIDS. Gwen, the single mother of 4, has blessed me time and time again - I cannot begin to tell you how the Lord has worked in this family in recent days.



Anyway...Within three days of finishing college...I packed up my life in College Station, moved to Dallas, and started working. I am living with a phenomenal woman, who recently lost her husband, Ms. Bailey. I cannot tell you how excited I am about this...so much wisdom, so fun, so in love with Jesus, and so so committed to discipleship. What a blessing.

I am working at Dallas Heart Group, under a group of eight cardiologists. My first week went well, and I am already learning so much...Welcome to the real world Katie, I begin my commute to work every morning at 6:45 am (which allows for a Starbucks stop on the way). Good thing I love the mornings :)

I am still pondering the future days ahead...PA school? PT school? California? Tampa? Dallas? Kansas City? Australia? Triathlon? Traveling? Inner city ministry? A seminary class or two? Publishing a book? Marathon training? Going abroad? Who knows where this girl is going. If you think you know...fill me in please :)

Ok, now that I feel like I have completed a somewhat pointless, yet necessary post...stay tuned for me writing soon.

I refuse to stifle the cry in my heart, the very cry You placed there. Come...come write Your name upon my heart. Etch your seal upon my Spirit. Consume my mind. Anoint my prayers with the oil of Your Spirit. Oh Jealous God, take away all that hinders the beauty of Your love and the brokenness of my soul. I cry come. The Spirit and the Bride weep and wait...weep and wait...and wonder of Your return. Awaken what's inside of me...tune this heart to the rhythms of Your grace...Your desire. ---KT

So much to love...

Mothers Day..posted a day late..give me a break, it's final exam time around here...

Mom.
Kim. Kimmy.
Ethel.

I love the way you...

love so well, so freely, so sacrificially.
are always laughing.
never complain.
love to snuggle.
are your kids' biggest fan.
hate to shop.
love life.
teach me what it means to a lady.
encourage me to find my identity in my Jesus.
enjoy our time together.
love my Dad.
listen.
treat my friends as if they were your own.
hate the cold.

I love how you are...

so strong, yet your heart is so soft.
a hard-working woman.
a joyful servant.
a quiet leader.
a genuine example of everything you encourage me to be.
a hater of all drama.
driven.
committed.
a woman of your word.

I love the way you love Jesus.
I love the way you love worship.
I love you for the way you choose to love me.
I love that I can call you friend.
I love that you let me hang out in the inner city and love
on the lost.

I love the way you have entrusted me into the hands of our Jesus -
how you have let me freely seek the will of my Father, to
go where He calls me, and to have your blessing
through it all.

My words fail at expressing this love I have for you...
There is so much to love about you Mom.